Wondering ‘this is why I miscarried? Hey sis! Yeah you! You are enough. Cliche.. yeah, yeah. But we are enough. Ever just catch yourself super down in the dumps but wonder what the hell for? Because those posts on social media state: “if you have a roof over your head food on the table… you are more blessed than you think” I would like to help you with this.
Yes, you had an M-word. You are not ungrateful for your roof and your food. I mean it. These waves are coming in with a shattering force and sometimes at full force and can knock you straight on your butt or they’re just regular waves coming in and out like the tides, either way, you may feel like you’ve lost a part of you. I know I do.
But just remember all the hormones you are experiencing and are drilling into your insecurities, you are enough! You are going through it. And like the tides, let it come in and out. I just ask that you roll through it.
You are okay to feel angry. You are okay to feel depressed. You are okay to feel helpless and defeated. I went to the doctor to check out my pelvic region. I was having sharp pains after my miscarriage. They reassured me it could be a cyst in my ovaries but I will be okay.
I am not going to lie, before I went in, I thought that meant I couldn’t be reproductive again. I did. Even though I went in wishing for the best. I literally was thinking oh crap, I’m about to hear some crazy news about why this was vital in my M word.
My thoughts, almost a month later, are what if this is why I miscarried. I read something on meat and how the protein in your diet could cause a Miscarriage.
Or wait I was pulling weeds in the sun and this could have been why. If you’re going through the “this is why I Miscarried” phase, that is also okay. I don’t believe that everything is naturally okay with “it’s common”.
Yeah, people say it. I hear it every time it is brought up. But at some point, you still feel you were the one to blame. I am kicking myself for mentioning this but we are human, we only know what we could have done right and wrong and we metric ourselves.
‘”Maybe I should have taken prenatals sooner; maybe I shouldn’t have lifted that box; maybe I should have checked with my doctor before having sex..”
We are our biggest critic, which is why it’s so difficult to see our own achievements. We put too much on ourselves and give ourselves our own reason for failure.
Isn’t that ironic? We could try to pat ourselves on the back but there’s always one thing we could have done better.
The point about this post is to let you know if you are feeling this “maybe this is why I miscarried…” feeling, try to it turn right down or tell yourself all the good you did, you said no to that drink you drank plenty of water, you tried to eat better.
I believe if we change our outlook on that aspect, we can in turn have a better turnout every day. Because we are excited that we are putting one foot in front of the other, and who can literally ask for more than that. Take care & love a little more today.
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