It is the beginning of Spring and my 5 year old just started getting interested in riding his bike more. Part of being a stay at home mom, I need to find creative ways to spend time while playing with my kids. We are currently trying to get out 2 to 3 times a week on a walk or on the bike.
I love going outside because my youngest suffers from eczema and getting him in direct sunlight was recommended by his dermatologist. I also love that my oldest is getting exercise while also learning a new skill while being outside. Win-win-win, right? Wrong. This day was one of the hardest I have had in a while. I mentally have to prepare myself when I’m in public with both kiddos. I told him the rules and dangers of vehicles in the neighborhood. He knows he can’t veer too far from me. He knows about stranger danger and why it’s important to stay close.
This day was difficult because as I was laughing and playing while strolling my 18mo. I look up to see my 5 yo just going for it. As I calmy huffed to remind him that that is too far. He stops and kind of chuckles at me to let me know that he did not care. He continued to ride his happy go lucky self down the floor. In annoyance, I recognize this guy isn’t planning on slowing down nor turn around to say he is just joking around. I start running with my wagon and baby and the heartbeat speeds up faster and faster. I am speechless.
I turn the corner to find that he is no where to be seen. My baby is now screaming his head off and I can only imagine what could have happened. Kidnapped. Hurt on the side of the road. Still flying through the neighborhood. Or happy that he won a race back to the house. I was angry, scared and sad all in the same breath.
I did kind of see my neighbor outside on the edge of her lawn talking to someone while kind of glancing way down the road I was on as I struggled and ran. I just prayed in that moment that she saw him and asked him what he was doing without his mom. But then everything came full circle when I saw his bike at my front door. I shoved the wagon in the front yard and quickly grabbed my baby and paced into the front door. There he was just having himself a nice popsicle. I firmly said with my teeth clenched, “get in your room”. There was no words to explain the frustration I had.
I put him in his room and I walked out on my back deck to wince. Thankfully nothing happened to him but I told him no popsicle and to stay in his room until I came to talk to him. He slowly creeped out of the room and said “can I have my popsicle?” NNNNNNOOOO and without a second he just starts throwing a tantrum. He said “you’re not fair” “you’re mean” “I don’t like you” and said he wasn’t going to go to his room.
I said, “You know what, that’s fine, you will go in the corner where I can see you” because when he does get time outs he does still play with his toys even when asked not to. This just worked out better. I then asked him to put his nose in the corner of the living room where I can see him and he was not to talk or come out until the timer went off.
Dealing with toddler tantrums can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. Toddlers can be extremely emotional and often lack the ability to regulate their emotions effectively. This can lead to temper tantrums that can be frustrating for both the child and the mom or dad. However, there are steps that you can take to help your child manage their emotions and reduce the frequency and intensity of tantrums.
- Understand the triggers
The first step in dealing with toddler tantrums is to understand the triggers that set off your child’s tantrums. For some children, it may be hunger, fatigue, or frustration. For others, it may be a change in routine or environment. By understanding the triggers, you can take steps to prevent or reduce tantrums before they occur.
- Stay calm
When your child is having a tantrum, it is important to stay calm. Getting angry or frustrated will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, take a deep breath and try to remain as calm as possible. Remember, your child is not intentionally trying to upset you. They are simply struggling to manage their emotions.
- Validate their feelings
During a tantrum, your child may feel overwhelmed and out of control. It is important to validate their feelings and let them know that it is okay to feel upset. Use simple language to acknowledge their feelings, such as “I know you are feeling frustrated right now.” This can help your child feel heard and understood, which can help to deescalate the situation.
- Set boundaries
While it is important to validate your child’s feelings, it is also important to set boundaries. Let your child know that while it is okay to feel upset, it is not okay to hit, kick, or throw things. Explain the consequences of their behavior, such as time-outs or losing privileges. Be consistent with your boundaries and consequences, so your child knows what to expect.
- Redirect their attention
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a tantrum is to redirect your child’s attention. Offer a distraction, such as a favorite toy or book, to help them calm down. Take them to a different room or go for a walk to change the environment. This can help your child break out of the cycle of their emotions and move on from the tantrum.
- Practice self-care
Finally, it is important to practice self-care as a parent. Dealing with toddler tantrums can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Take time for yourself to recharge and decompress. This can help you approach tantrums with a more patient and calm attitude.
Dealing with tantrums can be difficult but learning how to handle them is not impossible. By understanding the triggers, staying calm, validating your child’s feelings, setting boundaries, redirecting their attention, and practicing self-care, you can help your child manage their emotions and reduce the frequency and intensity of tantrums. Remember, every child is different, and what works for one child may not work for another. Be patient, consistent, and flexible, and you will find a solution that works for you and your child.