Have you ever bought a new car and on your first drive in it, find out that everyone and their mom also have that car? This is how I felt after opening up about my Miscarriage. I found more and more just like me and I would ask ‘what did you do after your miscarriage?’ This is new – but it’s really going to be your best bet.
Find a Miscarriage group or friend
I called my mom, sisters, and friends. Girl, I can talk. Can you relate? I just go on and on and on. I think I have a squirrel brain because I see something in the corner of my eye and it sparks a new conversation. But it reminds me of how much I can relate – with people and in general.
This is cliche’ but what you need is a familiar group that will have your back, find you a tribe. Find you some ride or die, friends and family. You may have them already and not know it yet. Also – you may need to seek them out. Maybe you have no best friends but a lot of regular friends. I have seen people come out of the dust and share their true colors by just letting them know what I was experiencing. These people are carrying me.
You know what. Normally, I wouldn’t put any of my “problems” on other people as I tend to be there for others but when it comes to my issues I try to combat them quickly, and on my own. But not this time. I was determined to reach out to those who I know would understand me for me. Try it. Because all you can do is try something different to help ease the grief.
Okay, if it were an easy conversation I would just throw it on my social media but it’s simply not. No matter how casual my doctor dropped the 10,000-pound news about the M word. It didn’t lighten the blow. It isn’t normal. Not to me and even a week and a half later or a year later it’s not going to feel normal to me. But this Facebook group ‘Miscarriage Support’ allowed me to feel as I am not alone.
Share your miscarriage story – others will share theirs
Then they say it, “I had a miscarriage.” “My mom had a miscarriage at 14 weeks”. “No, I personally haven’t had one but my friend knows someone who had”. I’m thinking wow, wish I could be 6 months down the road and had more experience so I could help those who are struggling.
Am I going to post “who is currently or has struggled in the past with a Miscarriage?” No!! But I want to be a vehicle for those who aren’t ready to talk about it with their friends or family.
Maybe you didn’t tell anyone you were expecting or you didn’t know how to battle the news and are sucking it back in, on the verge of tears. Please. If you haven’t reached your strength to talk about it openly yet, drop me a quick email.
I want to be there. I also know we don’t all have that tribe that I’m speaking of. Another place to share your story is on Peanut – where you meet other moms with things in common with you – for example other moms trying to conceive, infertility concerns, lack of support from partners & miscarriage. The best part is it’s free! No membership subscriptions. I have more than enough time to spend supporting those out there so you will see me on there making mom friends to seek help and support from and to give helpful advice to others sharing the struggle. It isn’t just you fighting this battle. I share my Facebook and helpful tips there as well.
I got a few messages from people looking to give me their condolences. I also got more likes than expected for this type of topic. I love sharing my stories with people. But what I love most is when people feel comfortable sharing theirs with me.
Again, I welcome you to reach out if it’s comfortable enough for you to share your grief with me. That’s what worked for me. I needed to talk about it. I’m here to talk. If you give people a chance I know they are more than willing to talk to you about anything and everything.
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