One thing I’ve found helpful during this pandemic is not the act of decluttering itself, but realizing there’s a breaking point, no, a switch where you give a rats ass and then you don’t. It all comes in seasons too. You have an amazing, relaxing Sunday and you get your “life” together for the week. Personally, you can’t argue that everyday is a struggle and we all make choices. Do I start the laundry early? Or do I start it later… it’s not going anywhere.
You can bet your bottom dollar that laundry got put on the back burner because there’s a million things you did instead. Amirite? You know it! We then beat ourselves up like a nagging step parent. “Well, if I would’ve done it yesterday morning, like I said I would, the day before that. I would still be on track” or “caught up”. Pah! I hear you.
Truth is. This happens subconsciously. We are constantly dominating our own thoughts and constantly putting ourselves down. Let me tell you it is the most costly thing you will ever own. Even more than that house you’re living in. Why? Because the currency you’re robbing is your happiness.
While I’m new to blogging. Well, even new to being a mom, I know for damn sure I’m by no means a “decluttering expert”. Actually, if I’m being real honest… I’m the kind that clears and cleans one room, just to find that “donation box” starts to find a home in another room. The epitome of outta site, outta mind.
If you’re looking for some tips for decluttering, I gotchu boo boo. It’s in no way going to cost you a dime. You don’t need to take Phebe’s Expert Course on what to do. But I will say it does help. And hey if free, so I hope most people would give it a try.
Okay, so first, I want you to think. Think about what stressed you out today. Okay, woah, I don’t know about you but I just thought about my passport. Eeks. Anyways… like focus in. If you can think of that very firsts thing that came to mind and I could tell you, “Don’t worry, girl, I gotchu, go do what you need to solve that ONE issue”. What would you say?
There’s no fragment of the imagination if you didn’t have to worry about anything else. Like, nothing at all. You would run and go make things right. You would action the shit out of it. Right? It’s like the feeling you would get if you left your curling iron on at home and you remember exactly where you placed it and why you need to run home right away, and you boss without a question, is like “go home, right now, I’ll cover for you”. Amirite. You don’t even stop to do anything else but get home and flip a switch.
It’s like that switch is automatic, you don’t stop for Starbucks, you don’t even do the speed limit. Well what if I said that’s the exact metaphor you should use, (or come up with a practical one for you) when you think you can’t get it all done. Now, is your boss going to literally be there? Probably not but it’s the idea behind what’s causing the stress in the first place. Here are some things that might be weighing on your shoulders that quite possible might not have been there before the pandemic:
- You are home way more than it’s needed right now.
- Homeschooling
- Childcare (yours or others)
- Working from home
- Zoom Meetings
- More screen time
- Babysitting
- Looking for a new job
- No actual breaks
- Working from home with your partner
- Taking on more cleaning
- Why is everyone so dirty?
- Taking on more cooking
- Why are they always hungry?
- Who’s going to run to the store?
- More clutter
- More eating
- More pounds
- More whining
- Less time to get it all done
You may continue to catch up on one aspect of the bulk, but like a lawnmower with no bag you always have more to deal with after.
But that’s just it. You are doing the right things to stay organized and did what you could to automate the tasks. You’ve followed the blogs. You’ve watched the “how to declutter”YouTube videos. You ordered through Instacart, Hello Fresh and you now own a Roomba. You’ve harassed Pinterest like a toddler with questions. It’s not working.. There is always more to do.
With more being packed on you throughout the day and less and less ways to be creative because everything is shut down right now! You can’t possibly get it all done. That’s the answer you can’t do it. Here’s what you’re doing and why decluttering can be so helpful. To me, it’s like when you have an addict. (sorry for the metaphors) I really like perspective. Imagine an addict is self medicating, because of all the pain underneath it all. And instead of facing the true issues on the hurt and pain, all that’s focused on us the addiction. But sometimes if we take the layers back we can see where the phenomenon comes from. Does this make sense.
With this in mind. Think of your clutter:
- Clean, so we can think
- Clearing off surfaces
- Clutter can cause confusion
- Clutter causes the anxiety
- Anxiety makes you nervous
- Anxiety gives you a short fuse
- Anxiety causes you to lose track of your thoughts
- When your thoughts aren’t organized your mind is cluttered
- When you have chaos in your brain, you can’t fathom getting anything done. You can move all day and night but you didn’t get what was “important” done.
Well, great Phebe, but that’s what I’m telling you… I don’t have time for it.
Make time for it. Force yourself to clean one table at a time. Just one by one. Idc if it takes you a month. Then check it off. I didn’t say it would be instant. But if you can use that mentality of “my boss gave me the go ahead” then Sis- book it home.
Set yourself up for success- cross things off the list and write the new things down and save them for another day. If you block time off for the priorities… ie “spend more time, creating” or spend more time doing things you’d rather be doing. Or things your friends are doing that make you jealous.
I’ve always wanted a hobby but let’s be real. I went to school and all I had was school work. Then I would have a final and start all over again. Once I graduated I had a job that literally took nearly 3 hours of my day in commute time. I would come home eat, feel guilty for not spending enough time with my husband then go to bed so I could wake up and do it all over again. Then you have kids and you wished you’d slept in for all those years you didn’t have kids. Suddenly, your life revolves around feeding and entertaining this little being, who can hardly be in one section of the room without spilling anything.
But then you hop on Pinterest and it gives you all these unrealistic ideas of what a house should look like but your mastiff drools and you son’s favorite activity is dumping things upside down. (He dumps everything upside down, you name it!) But when you ask him to stop it’s a literal joke to the guilt you feel while telling your kid to stop – like what you actually said was ‘don’t, stop, stop learning, stop imagining’ but what you did say was ‘stop! Don’t you see I just cleaned this up and was cleaning up for the last hour’. Everything is a battle but when you look back are you really going to are about the 30 seconds it took to clean up that spilled apple juice? Or are you going to be more depressed when your kid doesn’t want to play anymore because he was taught playing had an expiration notice. (Pure mom fail).
Not going to lie, I wish there was a weekend for moms. Or at least a Sunday, like a day of rest. But truth be told you’re obsessed with being a mom and will do anything for that child-devil. And when given the chance to be away. You literally miss their smell when you aren’t there anymore. It’s motherhood and it doesn’t get anymore raw than that.
You are an amazing and you can’t do it all, and be okay with it. The battles you’re debating today will vanish but reincarnate as new ones and the very stress of that spilled apple juice is merely only that. A cup of spilled apple juice.
You’re more concerned with all your spilled “apple juice” the real adult issues going on today. You don’t want pay the bills. You don’t want to be exposed to the virus in 2020. You want your kid to have fun but not hurt himself. But your very anxiety alone- proves you’re not only doing everything right but that you need a real break.
I don’t believe we should cut our standards short, but we need the tools to be able to handle what life brings us next. It might be spilled apple juice but you know what, with the right practice and or tools, like mindset, you may just teach yourself something and your child might mimic that set of tools you just instilled in their cute little brains, the most imaginative brains!!
Straight of the burnt curling iron. An idea to declutter but not in the mainstream way. Your duties, should you chose to accept them. Write down one this you’re going to declutter today! Then if you can, another. Tell me what you decluttered even if it was the inside of the potato chip bag. Be kind to yourself.