We may actually have all the answers and be right. But let that toddler win sometimes.
I say this to my husband all the time but we are obsessed with being in control.
It gets better as we age and have children. I don’t think we all have a power struggle but… I think we love being in control. Sometimes life throws us hard balls and we have to learn to jive with it. But nothing puts us back on our feet like being in control.
Our toddlers are mini versions of us. The beast in the making. We want strong, independent children. We want them to learn how to do things but we don’t want them doing too much on their own (because they aren’t ready, or do it incorrectly.) Well I’m here for it. I love when my kid tells people he likes to do chores. lol
What person likes to do chores?
Not me. Not really. At all. Even.
I do brag, sometimes too much, about how independent my baby is. My toddler. I do. Because in a way I envy that he has this new life that is unwritten. He gets to choose, everyday, what he likes and dislikes, without hesitation.
For example. This kid and his broccoli. Like, the first time I went grocery shopping and my kid said ‘Mom, I want broccoli’. I was like ‘the vegetable’? Hands down. Best mom anti-guilt. I’m like ‘can you say it again, but louder’.
I even enjoyed grocery shopping with him for that and a few other times. Because hey, even I don’t enjoy broccoli. I will eat it. But I don’t love it.
For me – if your child is emphasizing the ‘I want to do it myself’ stage – I think we absolutely ought to be be letting them, without hesitation and without being annoyed.
I recently had a well check up for my son, and his pediatrician said ‘have you thought about pre-school? Because if you haven’t I would definitely recommend at least searching around for one, I think he is ready.’ In total offense, I’m like why? He just thought my son was advanced for the average 3yo that comes drooling in. He changed my perspective.
Perspective is everything with toddlers.
Once I ‘knew’ my child was exceptional, not by just my own opinions, but of a professional. I walked out that appointment with my chest forward and my kids hand in the air. Like! Yes, kid. You did it. You impressed someone who’s job it is to judge you. *Mic drop moment*
But literally anyone could have told me that and I would have just shook it right off. If you’re struggling to see if you’re doing a good job – take him into the well child check up and see if your doctor doesn’t tell you what he tells hundreds of patients each day.
Because whether he does or not. It’s a huge compliment to hear anything positive about your child. Why? Because it’s a pure reflection of you. Your parenting.
I will admit. I’m the first to stress and juggle all the emotions it takes to be a mother. I can safely say I am an silent stresser. I freak out on the inside when it comes to my child. And, without notice. It’s a super power and a weakness. But I often find myself wondering if people will like my child.
After all, it is our duty to raise these kids just enough to let them go to someone else’s care and have those caregivers LIKE them.
Am I right?
What’s more of a compliment? People admiring your ability to stay at home with your child for long periods of time OR having the strength to let them go to school or someone elses care and have them returned with a big star like ‘wow, he is one of the best in the class’. Idk about you but I’m all about option B.
Let the toddler win…
If you’re struggling with your little one and lowkey a little embarrassed of some on their impulse decisions, try letting them ‘win’.
We gotta give them more wins. Because it instills confidence. But it allows them the ability to practice their perfection.
‘Oh my gosh, you’re so right hunny’
‘You know how do it yourself? I didn’t know! Show me’
‘Wow, you are really good at that, show me again.’
I don’t know – what ever it is, make it up. (because it’s probably true) but we spend so much time with them – we don’t get to see it first hand or we’re oh so busy with the million other things we’re doing we just don’t see it the way others do.
I am proud to let my toddler win and I think if you’re struggling you might see some improvement in their behavior. (I am not a specialist by any stretch of the imagination) I just have experience under my belt and I love hearing good things about my kid. 🙂
Let’s let our toddlers win more. Not all the time! But when they need it most. You will become the winner too!