In 2018, I had my wonderful, handsome boy. I don’t know about you but every mom I know, knows that kids bring us joy we never knew we could have. Right? If you’re like me, my heart feels like it inflates with love, and there’s no stop. I know Motherhood brings purpose. But is it your sole purpose?
Not gonna lie, I genuinely love the love, you, as a woman, can supply for another. The kind of love that you would put your life on the line for. For me, it is a different kind of love than the one you hold for your significant other… like yes, I would die for my husband, but if I were to talk about your husband’s bad habits, in all reality, you might agree to some degree. You literally might enjoy talking smack about your husband because it low-key brings you some joy.
Don’t lie… but with our children, we get all ‘lioness’ about it. Do. Not. Mess. With. My. Children. I wouldn’t challenge anyone to test a momma and mess with her children. This brings me to the point of us feeling we have a single purpose on this earth. And we’ve all said it, “thank you (insert child’s name), you give me purpose, I’m so grateful you chose me to be your mom” – which, I too, would type over and over on IG, btw. Yass, Mama, I see you!! 🙌🏽
I personally think we as women struggle to find a balance, right? Struggles to find the time to love ourselves enough or love ourselves more than anyone else, because as a Mother, there is one PURPOSE and goal we give to ourselves, that is to love our young and stop anyone or thing from hurting them. It’s an instinct. There will never be anyone on this planet that can take that away from you, and if there is I dare that person to try me.
It’s inevitable that your child will bring you a purpose you’ve never experienced before. Once you conceive that wonderful piece of being in your body, there is no turning back.
I read many posts on-the-daily about women whose lives were only changed for the positive after having children.
Real talk- We may complain and yank on our significant other’s leg about how much we do as caregivers. Like, oh you want me to create this human for nine months, then feed them from the bosom of life until one of us taps out? Oh, you think I’m the only one capable of compartmentalizing my feelings and emotions for the sake of these children?
As to say, we aren’t blindsided by random hormones and emotions that create a huge lump in our throat, that kinda stress that could momentarily bring you to your knees?
Because I love my children, I should feel some gratitude towards being able to have them all day, while they (he) “work so hard, to take care of the family”.
Shoot, do we honestly ever think their work is so cumbersome, that they have no capacity to fathom remembering even the simple things like when a doc appointment is, where the kids’ socks are or heaven forbid you to know where the scissors are, that have been kept in the same place since we moved in together, that we have to literally be heckled at that we somehow ‘failed’ or ‘didn’t tell them that after you’ve reminded them 3 times; texted them and had a full-blown conversation about it at one point?
Is this really our purpose?? Do we get to dwell on the positives? No, instead we get to dwell on the negatives – which truly leaves no time to focus on the positives. It’s the “did you remember to ask your mom about Wednesday” or “remember, we have something going that day, we can’t make both” to “yes, it’s garbage day, Friday has ALWAYS been garbage day, I don’t remember daylight savings ever-changing the fact that Friday is garbage day!!”
Why do I feel like if I died tomorrow, would he be able to find the keys to get to work? We are so vital. Read that again. We are literally the seam that holds the family together. No literally, Ladies, we are the patches, the thread, and the needle that holds this live, laugh love family together.
Nurturing is our superpower.
MY WHY
I knew since a young age I always wanted to be a mom. However, because I ‘lost’ my parents very young and was forced in the the foster system, I knew I wanted to be the ‘right mom’ for my children.
I knew I wanted to finish school (college). I knew I wanted a house of my own and I wanted to be married. Right there, before the age of 27, I had it all. Checked all the goal boxes and then some.
For a woman with a messed up childhood, I was relentless in how I stood behind these standards that only I held for myself because I wanted to defy all odds – of me succeeding after generations and generations of heartache, poverty, and alcoholism.
I just wanted better for my children. Facts. I was so scared to get pregnant earlier than said milestones, that when it came time to try to conceive, I convinced myself that it wasn’t possible. So for the first time in my young adult life, I feel that this Miscarriage has truly done something for me. It has jump-started some kind of realization to my perfectly conventional life. So I thought.
I don’t want to be just an ordinary stay-at-home mom. I’ve made it all the way here why stop now?
I don’t want to wind up feeling resentment from my husband like I was ambitious to this point and a Mother is all I am. Sound familiar?
Yes, my child gives me comfort going to sleep knowing I get to Mom all over again tomorrow and seek fulfillment. I get to do it every day for the rest of our lives. Yasss. All day, Er day baby!
However, life as we know it doesn’t just boil down to that. I have a calling and all I’ve ever known most about myself is that I am here to help people. I am good at it and it’s a core belief of mine.
So, I want to wake up each day and help YOU, the moms who are tired of asking their husband for more money or tired of having babies and feeling that expiration date aka maternity leave to go back to a dead-end job you don’t like anyway!
I’m going to show up for the moms who, like me, are over giving The Karen’s permission to mom guilt you and tell you everything you’ve done wrong since you were baking that bun in your oven.
I’ll strive to find a community of you like-minded women who don’t care to say yes to dinner ‘seconds’ and say things like “I’ll have more wine, sure” because if you learned anything from the year 2020, it was that 20/20 vision must be real and that it has been the equivalent to lasik eye surgery for a lot of people, that life is just too short to settle but especially to you as a Mother because it has put more responsibilities on your plate than the spaghetti at Buca De Beppo.
Life won’t stop pushing you down to the ground, while you gravel to get back up, sorry but I hope that if you found me here, and you’re still reading this, I can find you the tools you need to keep getting back up and pushing right back.
I want to contribute in the best way I can and show you, on this blog journey. There’s this girl I know- in fact, I see her each day, and she is resilient and def not a quitter, and she sees you. I’m she. The pronoun M. Me. I’m rooting for you, so pick up your thumb and hit subscribe and let’s be friends. Rise in spite of it all. Love, always.
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